Novel Bin Chapter 154 Sharing The Fire Would Never Be Enough
"So you don\'t get mixed up here?" Leo asked.
"It is so that I don\'t have to remember watching my friends and loved ones die or be killed in front of me. It\'s so I don\'t have to remember all the times that I failed, was tortured to death, or burned alive. You all have no idea what I have to do sometimes, but not even the Guides can erase everything. Leo, I just want to have someone like you to come to at the end of each run to hold and love as you do with Capricorn," I said with a heavy sigh. "I just want to have someone, and that person is Tallia."
Silence fell between us, and only the crashing water that sprinkled lightly on my shoulder made noise.
This was the first time that I had opened up to anyone about how I really felt, and it felt good, but that didn\'t change things. Kaedon told me that the only way that I could get Tallia up to Yaggisdral was to do as the three Guides, Hellios, Angelios, and Apocolios, had asked.
But that wasn\'t the only way for me to get to her. Every one of the worlds ran on a timeline that was separate, and all times happened at the same time. This meant that I could enter Tallia\'s world and whatever time she existed in at will, sort of.
The problem was that I needed to be sent to that world and time, or I would have no way back. This was a static rule that had been in place since the dawn of existence. I had never tested it out, but according to Apocolios, I would get stuck in that time and world. I would be unable to leave, but I would have my memories and access to my Astral Chakra.
That was what was said to happen, but again, I had never tried it because that was basically like killing yourself. If I had no way to get back to the Astral Ilse, then I would eventually grow old and die, but I could do it with her again.
"Ophiuchus, father told me what you are thinking," Leo said suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Don\'t you ever get tired of the same things over and over again?" I asked, and Leo shook his head.
"I take comfort that things have always been like this and will always be like this. You are that reason. Without you, the people we watch over and give our blessings to would not exist in happy worlds. Are you really ready to give all that up? Who will take your place?" Leo asked me, and I stood up slowly as the water became heavier than ever.
"My place? My place to serve the rest of my kin while they enjoy the splendor that my pain wrought?!" I growled quietly, and Leo sighed.
"Sit back down. You know that is not what I meant," Leo said, trying to get me to sit back down, but they were all the same.
I turned, gestured, and walked through the star-filled portal to my own island, letting it close before Leo could say more. Father and even his own blood brother now seemed to all feel the same. They, like the guides, only saw me as a tool, but that had never bothered me before. Then I met Tallia, and suddenly, the way I had lived no longer seemed adequate.
I began to walk down one of the hundreds of groomed paths that were peppered with beautiful flowers that came from all over the lower realms. I had not brought them up, but after using the Looking Glass in Yaggisdal, I was able to replicate them on my island.
As I walked, I tried to clear my head and think of things clearly. This only started happening because I had met Tallia. Was this really right then? Or maybe this was some kind of trick planted by Nemoria? That creature always had some kind of plan in place to mess with me.
"You look like you are lost in your own home," Virgo said to me as a portal opened beside me, and she walked out to join me as I walked.
"Questioning if this place is really that. I am starting to wonder if I ever really had a home," I said as Virgo linked arms with me.
"Leo was just by quickly and said that he might have made things worse. From your expression and your walk, I can see that he might be right. Ophiuchus, I know that I am not enough for you, but is this human mortal really worth giving up your life?" Virgo asked, stopping me.
I turned to look into her face, which was so beautiful it almost was painful to look away. Virgo and I had made love countless times, but I knew where she belonged, even if she played at loving me.
"Would you ever give up on Sage? I mean, would you ever leave him completely and become only mine?" I asked, and Virgo sighed.
"It is not that easy. While we like to share, we still love each other dearly and are connected. There is nothing that could sever that," Virgo explained, and I nodded.
"I know, but that is how I feel about Tallia. I can\'t keep living life after life, knowing that she is out there, all alone. Tallia is my Goddess, and I refuse to continue this life without her. I would give up my own just so I could spend the last of it with her in a final life. Then I wouldn\'t have to feel this haunting pain that has been with me since that life!" I said, feeling my emotions rise, and Virgo moved in, letting go of my arm to hug me, placing her head on my chest.
"I wish that I could stop you. We all do, but you are different from us, and you always have been. For some reason, Kaedon left you with your wild emotions, and I don\'t understand his motive. The rest of us never cause problems, yet, you are always fighting or arguing with someone," Virgo said as she ran her hand over my chest.